Peter Warrick arrested


December 8, 2001

WASHINGTON -- At 8:37 Eastern time, at a Press Conference in the White House, a gunman fired a shot at President Bush. The gunman was quickly apprehended by the Secret Service and arrested.

The bullet grazed President Bush's shoulder. The wound is not life-threatening, however, and the president is expected to recover fully. There were no other injuries reported.

The Secret Service has identified the gunman as Peter Warrick, of Bradenton, Florida. As Warrick was being led away, he was heard shouting, "What's the big deal? It's not like I--oh, dammit!"


Note: I would like to thank all the wonderful people of the Secret Service in advance for not coming and arresting me for this joke.

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